Vicis verto
by nightwalker21492
Summary: After fighting a demon & coming into contact with it's blood, Buffy begins to act strange. Dawn brings her to see Angel and Spike at Wolfram & Heart, hoping they'll be able to help.**CHAPTER 4 & 5 UP NOW** dont 4get to review
1. Chapter 1

"Sex is not a relationship!" Angel yelled.

"It is if you do it enough times, oh wait, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" Spike replied.

"It's still not a relationship!"

"We didn't only have sex, you bloody poof. We had a connection. We knew what the other needed, even if it was just someone to sit with. We pulled each other back to earth when we wanted everything to just be over with. We talked about things we never told anyone else about. THAT, nancy, was me and luv's relationship!" Spike spat, glaring at Angel.

Angel ran a hand over his face as him and Spike continued their weekly fight over who had the better relationship with Buffy. Looking up when there was a knock on the door, he sat down in his chair. "Come in!"

A blonde vampire, wearing a pink dress suit walked in. "Angel, there's someone from Sunnydale here to see you."

"Sunnydale? That's not possible." Spike said.

"They rebuilt it." Angel said, not looking away from the female.

"When?"

"Who is it?" Angel asked, ignoring Spike, who was now slouched in a large leather chair.

"Some girl named Dawn."

"Dawn? Why is she here?"

"Lil bit? She's here? Think something' happened?" Spike said, sitting up nervously.

"Does she know you're alive, Spike?" Angel turned to the bleached blonde.

"Yea, but I had her promise not to tell Buffy. Send her in Harms." Spike said.

"Don't tell her what to do. I'm the boss around her." Angel turned to Harmony. "Send her in."

Spike and Harmony rolled their eyes and Harmony disappeared, closing the large oak door, only to have it opened again by Dawn.

"Hey guys. We need to talk." Dawn said as she walked over to Spike and hugged him, then sat down on the arm rest of his chair.

"What's going on? Are you and Buffy okay?" Angel said.

"I'm fine, but Buffy's been better." She said, her hands in her lap.

"What happened?" Angel and Spike asked in unison.

"Nothing that bad, she's not hurt or anything, but I didn't know where else to bring her, where she would be safe."

"She's here?" asked Spike.

Down looked at Spike and nodded. "Yea, she's off trying to find a restroom so she can fix her 'face'." Dawn said, rolling her eyes, obviously annoyed.

"Then what's going on?" said Angel.

"Well, we were out patrolling and this weird looking demon showed up. We were fighting and everything seemed fine until she got hit with some blood splatter. Then the next day, well…" Dawn sighed.

"Tell us what happened, bit." Spike said, rubbing her back.

"Well…" Dawn was interrupted by a loud scream, then Buffy burst through the office door, slamming it closed behind her and leaning against it, her head down and out of breath.

"What happened this time?" Dawn said annoyed. "An ugly guy say hi?" She said, turning to look at Buffy.

Spike and Angel were shocked by what they saw. Buffy Summers, world's greatest slayer, brave, fearless, determined, was now a few inches shorter, thinner, and younger.

"Did you see that thing out there! It's green! And has horns! It tried to attack me! Go kill it!" Buffy squealed.

"That was Lauran! And I'm not going to kill him! He was probably trying to give you a damn hug!" Dawn said.

"Whatever! You never believe me!" Buffy said, still out of breath.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "PLEASE tell me you can change her back. I never thought I would miss her being pushy and stubborn, but I do. I miss it. Please, bring her back!" Dawn said.

"Vicis verto." Angel said, standing up and walking around his desk towards Buffy.

"What, no way, those things haven't been around for decades." Spike said, also standing up and walking over to her.

"What's a Vicis verto?" Dawn asked.

"Time turner. You come into contact with it's blood and within 24 hours you become who you were before your most life changing decision." Angel said.

"So what happens?" asked Dawn.

"It's kind of like amnesia. It doesn't usually affect someone this badly though. Until she remembers a certain thing, she won't be back to normal." Spike said.

"What does she have to remember?"

"Whatever makes her want to come back to reality. It's up to her subconscious." Said Angel.

"So what do we do?" Dawn asked.

"Act as if she's a new slayer." Replied Angel.

"So we need to train her?" said Dawn as Buffy wandered over to a large couch and laid down.

Angel, Spike and Dawn watched as Buffy pulled out her cell phone and started texting. Singing softly to herself, she looked over at them, smiled and gave a small wave, then went back to texting.

"Seriously?" asked a very less than enthused Dawn.


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you have Giles' number? He'll need to take up Watching again." Angel said.

"Yeah, I'll give him a call. Um, do you have anywhere we can stay? Everything around here is way too expensive." Dawn said.

"Don't worry about it. I'll put you guys in one of the apartments for workers." Angel walked over to his desk and pressed a green button on his phone. "Harmony, I want you to set up an apartment for Dawn and Buffy. They'll be staying here until Buffy is back to normal."

The sound of Harmony sighing unhappily came through the phone. "Get right on it." She said trying to cover up the annoyance in her voice.

Angel picked up the phone and handed it to Dawn. "Press 8 to call out. Get Giles here as soon as possible."

All the while Spike had taken a seat at the end of the couch that Buffy was laying on. Watching her with curiosity, he tilted his head to one side.

"So this is Buffy before she was a slayer, huh?" He said, not taking his eyes off her.

"Yeah, and she's annoying." Dawn said as she waited for Giles to pick up his phone. "Hi, Giles. It's Dawn….Yeah, I'm fine, but it's Buffy…."

Spike tuned out the rest of Dawns conversation and Angel excused himself to talk to Harmony. Spike rest his arm on the back of the couch and continued to watch Buffy. He watched a small smile form on her face and she peeked over at him.

"It's not polite to stare." Buffy smiled.

"Can't help it, luv. It's been along time since I've seen you."

"We've met?"

Spike frowned. "Yes, pet, we have. We've met quite a few times." He said, winking.

Buffy sat up and sat Indian style on the couch, facing him. "Liar. I would defiantly remember you if we did that. Besides, I'm still a virgin." She smiled.

"Well I'm not lying luv. You're just not yourself at the moment. If you were, you would have kicked my ass as soon as you saw me."

"Why?"

"It's a long story, pet. Too long to get into at the moment." He said, patting her knee, a touch of sadness in his voice.

Buffy watched him with worry in her eyes. "What's wrong? You sound sad." She said placing a small hand on top of his, which was still on her knee.

Spike looked at their hands for a moment before sighing. "Just tired." he lied.

Buffy nodded and looked around the room. Dawn was still on the phone with her back turned to them. She could see Angel through the open door talking to Harmony and looking annoyed. Everyone around her seemed to be either annoyed or sad. She never knew why. After a while, Buffy broke the silence.

"Dawn keeps saying something about me being a slayer. When she told me what it was, I flat out refused. I don't want to die." She whispered.

"You won't die, pet."

"If I really am a slayer, then I'll be dead by my 17th birthday." She said, looking away from him.

Instincts kicked in and Spike reached over cupped her face, running his thumb over her cheek. Placing a hand on his forearm, she leaned into his touch.

"Look at me." Spike said firmly. Buffy looked up with watery eyes. "You're not going to die. I won't let you. Understand?"

Buffy nodded. Her eyes were cloudy and she watched him with curiosity. "Feels like dajiu vu." She said. Spike smiled sadly. "So um, if this whole slayer thing is real, does that mean I have to kill you and Angel?"

"What?"

"Well you guys are vampires, right? Slayers are supposed to kill vampires."

"Yeah, but, Angel and I are different. We have souls."

"But you're still vampires."

Spike sighed. "Yea, we're still vampires, but we're different. We're not evil. We don't hurt people. We drink pigs blood. We kill other vampires. At least I do anyways, not sure about the big bad poof."

"Big bad poof?"

"That's Angel."

"Oh."

"Buffy, Giles will be here by morning. We should go see if Angel has the apartment all set." Said Dawn when she hung the phone up.

"Whose Giles?"

"Giles is going to be your Watcher. He's going to train you to be a slayer."

"I don't want to be a slayer, Dawn."

"Well you have no choice." Dawn said.

"I'm not being the slayer!" Buffy said standing up.

"Yes you are!"

Angel ran into his office, hearing the yelling and looked between the two girls. "What's going on?"

"Buffy doesn't want to be the slayer." Said Spike, still sitting on the couch.

Buffy and Dawn argued for another 10 minutes before Angel kicked them out of his office, saying he had a headache. After a few minutes, Spike left Angel to wallow alone in his office, and went in search of Buffy and Dawn. "Harmony, pet, what apartment are Buffy and Dawn in?"

"Can't tell you Spiky Bear. Angel said not to." Harmony said not looking away from her computer.

"Well I'm your Sire. Do what you're told and tell me what apartment they're in." Spike growled, his eyes turning a pale yellow.

Harmony sighed. "You know, you can't pull that whole Sire thing all the time. Angel is going to catch on some day." Harmony said as she pulled up the apartment number.

"Angelus is a prat. If he hasn't figured it out yet, then he never will. And if he asks you where I went, tell him to sod off." Spike said and walked away after getting the number.

Harmony rolled her eyes and went back to tying. Suddenly Angel's voice came through her phone. "Where did Spike just go?"

Groaning, Harmony held down the little red button. "Sod off."

Angel didn't reply for a moment, then his office door opened. "Could I have a word with you." He spat and slammed his office door shut.

Harmony sighed. "Shit."

Spike made his way down the maze of hallways, looking for the apartment number. Finally finding it on the 7th floor, he went to knock, but jumped back as Dawn pulled open the door and walked out, not even noticing him. "Fine! Be a little bitch! I don't fucking care anymore!" she yelled and stomped off down the hallway.

"I wouldn't be a bitch if you weren't always bugging me!" Buffy said as she ran into the hallway to finish her and Dawn's fight.

Flipping her off quickly, Dawn got in the elevator and disappeared from sight. Growling, Buffy stormed back into the apartment and sat down on the couch, her legs and arms folded and a serious pout on her face. Spike watched her from the hallway and reached a hand out, but felt a shock when he tried to reach inside the door.

"Bloody Angel…" he mumbled.

"Spike!" Came Buffy's excited voice. "I didn't see you, come on in!" Buffy squealed, jumping up from the couch and going to see him.

"Thank's luv." He said, stepping inside the apartment and closing the door behind him. "So what was all that about, then?"

"That? Oh that was just Dawn trying to force feed me the whole slayer thing again." Buffy said waving her hand and going to the kitchen to get something to drink. Opening the fridge she bent over to check out what was inside and pulled out a grape soda. "You want anything?" She asked.

"You don't have what I want in there, luv." He said, trying to keep his eyes on her face and not her body, which was covered with a tight belly shirt and dark jeans.

Buffy shrugged and closed the fridge, then sat down on the couch with her soda. Spike joined her and they sat in silence for a few minutes. Spike took this time to study her. Her hair was more blonde, she had an innocent face - one unharmed by the horrors she would soon remember, she was a few inches shorter than he remembered and her body was smaller, still amazing, but smaller. He smiled at how cute she looked, as she pulled her legs up beside her and grabbed the remote control. Just like she did in Sunnydale. Spike thought, remembering the times they would watch TV after a patrol. Only this time it wouldn't end up with her curled up next to him with his arm around her and her head on his shoulder.

"So did you come here just to stare at me?" Buffy said, not looking away from the television.

Spike smiled. "No, but it's a perk."

"You're not here to try and convince me to be a slayer are you?" She said quietly.

"No. I'm here to ask you what you want to do about it."

"What?" Buffy looked at him in shock. "You're asking me whether I want to be one or not?"

"Yeah. I know you said you didn't want to, but I have a feeling it was just because everyone was saying you had to be one. So what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. Can we not talk about it?"

"Alright. We don't have to talk about it. We can just hang out and watch some telly."

"Thank you." Buffy said and went back to watching the movie.

20 minutes later, Spike found himself with Buffy laying down on the couch, and her head on his lap. Biting his lip, he tried to concentrate on the movie, but it was no use. Biting his fist, he closed his eyes, when she moved, giving him a better view down her shirt. Her hair fell around her shoulders, showing her bare neck and he had a strong urge to carry her to the bedroom and have his way with her. Hell, they didn't even need to make it to the bedroom, the kitchen table would do just fine. Or bend her over the arm of the couch and…Spike jumped up from his seat on the couch and ran a hand through his hair.

"Spike, what's wrong?" Buffy asked, shocked at his erupt movement.

"Fine, fine, just um, drink. I need a drink!" he said and practically ran into the kitchen.

Turning on the faucet he splashed some cold water on his face and closed his eyes. He had to control himself. He couldn't make a move on her. Not now. She would kill him when she was the slayer again. She's already going to be pissed for him not telling him he was back. He turned off the water and opened the fridge. Grabbing a can of soda, he popped the top and walked back into the living room, to find that Buffy was no longer on the couch.

"Luv?" He called out. A door down the hall opened and Buffy walked into the living room, half her hair in a braided pigtail and the other pigtail on its way to being braided. A lump formed in his throat as she smiled at him and made her way to the couch. She was now wearing black short-shorts and a deep red tank top.

"You alright?" She asked when she saw his face.

Spike nodded. He couldn't take his eyes off her perfectly tan body. When she finished braiding her hair, he watched her sit down on the couch, her shorts riding up, revealing even more sun kissed skin. Spike swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to think of anything that would get rid of the bulge in his jeans, which he prayed she hadn't seen. He quickly sat down and put a throw pillow on his lap when she went to lay down again.

After struggling to get through the rest of the movie, he noticed that Buffy was starring at him. "Not polite to stare, luv."

Buffy smiled. "I know. Just feels like we've done this before."

Spike smiled down at her. "I know what you mean, luv." Spike licked his lips. "Its getting late. You should get to bed."

"I guess." Buffy said and sat up.

Spike watched as Buffy stood, reached her arms above her head and stretched. Spike shifted on the couch and tensed his jaw. When she moaned, he made a fist and held it against his mouth, looking away, and closed his eyes tight. When he opened his eyes, Buffy was starring at him.

"You sure you're okay?" Spike nodded. "Okay, well, I'm gonna go to bed. You can hang around for Dawn if you want." Buffy said and walked down the hallway.

Spike watched her go, tilting his head to get a better view of her as she walked away. Letting out a quiet whistle, he picked up the soda cans and threw them in the trash. Before he could stop himself, he had found his way down the hall to Buffy's room. He knocked lightly and waited for her to invite him in. Poking his head in he nearly feel down in pain from getting too hard. Buffy was sitting in bed rubbing her legs with lotion. He watched her hands as they ran over her tan legs and held in a whimper.

"What's up?" She asked as she put the lotion bottle down and began to get into bed.

"Uh, just came to say g'night. I'm goin' to get goin'." Spike stuttered.

Once the door was almost closed, Buffy spoke up. "Spike?"

He opened the door again. "Yes, pet?"

"Um, I…I know we just met but, would you stay?" At the unreadable look on Spike face, Buffy licked her lips. "Just until I fall asleep. Please?"

Spike nodded and took off his duster. Throwing it over the back of a large couch, he sat down. "G'night then, luv."

"No, not over there." She said quietly.

Spike tilted his head. "Then where?"

Buffy chewed on her bottom lip and moved over in bed to give him some room. Spike watched her and rubbed the back of his head. Bullocks. He thought to himself. "Luv, I'm not sure that's a great idea. 'Specially with our past."

"Which I don't remember, so how can it be a bad idea?" Spike didn't say anything. "Please? I've been having all this horrible dreams. Maybe if I'm with someone I feel safe with I won't have them." Buffy whispered.

Spike walked over to the bed and laid down beside her. Propping himself against the pillows, he closed his eyes, remembering the last time this happened. She had done the exact same thing, asking him to stay with her and saying to stay in bed with her instead of the couch. Wrapping his arms around her when she curled up next to him and laid her head on his chest, he felt old feels rush through him.

"Good night Spike." She said softly.

"G'night, Buffy."

The two of them feel asleep within just a few minutes, neither hearing Dawn come home.


	3. Chapter 3

Dawn threw her coat over the back of the couch and ran a hand over her face. Grabbing the remote she turned the television off. Rubbing the back of her neck, she made her way down the hallway. Passing Buffy's room, she sighed. She should apologize for what she said. She hated fighting with her. Turning around, she knocked on Buffy's door. Not getting an answer, she opened the door and peeked her head in. Holding a hand over her mouth when she saw the bleached blonde holding her sister, she couldn't help but smile. He's always going to hold her heart. Dawn thought to herself. Dawn smiled and went to answer the door when the doorbell rang.

"Angel…hi." Dawn said, her eyes wide.

"Hey Dawn, just came by to…are you alright?" Angel asked.

"Yep. Yep, totally alright. Thanks for stopping by." Dawn rushed and tried to close the door, but Angel put a hand up to stop Dawn.

"What's going on?" Angel said pushing the door open.

"Nothing." Dawn said and put on a fake smile.

"Then you won't mind if I come in." Angel said and walked past her into the living room.

Dawn closed the door and watched him. He was looking for Spike. She knew he was. He hated the fact that Buffy and Spike had been together and wanted to make sure it didn't happen again. Slightly panicking when he looked down the hallway, Dawn tried to think of something to stop him from going down there.

"So how's the apartment? Big enough for you and Buffy?" Angel asked looking around.

"Yep. Totally big enough. Again, thanks for stopping by." Dawn said and opened the door.

"Why are you in such a hurry to get rid of me? I just want to check out the place. Make sure everything is alright." Angel said. "So is Buffy here? I'd like to see how she's doing."

"Um, yeah, but she's in her room laying down. She wasn't feeling well." Dawn lied.

"She sick?" Angel said and started towards her room.

"No!" Dawn ran over to Angel and grabbed his arm, turning him around. "She needs to rest." Dawn said and tried to pull him back towards the door.

"I won't stay long. I just want to make sure she's okay." Angel said, pulling his arm away from Dawn. "What's going on with you? Are you ill too?" Angel asked, watching her strangely.

Dawn looked past Angel and saw Buffy's door begin to open. When she saw Spike start to walk out, her eyes widened. Spike saw Angel with his back to him and when he started to turn around Dawn panicked. Grabbing his arm and spinning him back around to face her before he saw Spike, she jumped up, wrapping her legs around his torso and slammed her lips against his. Shocked, Angel held onto her so she wouldn't fall and instinctively kissed back. Closing his eyes, he pressed her against the wall and gripped her waist.

Spike quietly closed Buffy's door and quickly moved down the hall. Dawn opened her eyes and saw Spike. Angel ended the kiss and Dawn waved her hand, telling Spike to hide and he jumped into the bathroom. Dawn ran her hands through Angel's hair and pressed his lips against her neck. When she saw Spike peek out of the bathroom, she waved her hand again, telling him to hurry. Mouthing 'thank you', he slipped past them and out the door. After giving Spike a few moments to make sure he was gone, Dawn pushed Angel away and put her feet on the ground.

"Wow, awesome kisser. Buffy always said you were. I'm going to bed. Thanks for stopping by, I'll see you tomorrow." Dawn rushed as she pushed Angel towards the door. She opened it and pushed him out. "Cya!" she said and closed the door.

The next day, Buffy woke up alone and couldn't help but feel a little hurt that Spike would leave without even saying goodbye. She didn't have bad dreams, but she would have liked to at least thank him for staying. Sighing, she got out of bed and got dressed. Making her way into the living room, she found a note from Dawn telling her to meet her in Angel's office. Giles was there and he needed to start training her. Dawn had told her about Giles the night before, before they had fought. He was some caretaker from a British Museum and he had trained quiet a few slayers, all of which were dead now. Except for her. Dawn tried to explain that Buffy had been the slayer since she was 16. That she was the best that's ever been and that she's saved the world more times than all the others combined, but Buffy found it hard to believe that a cheerleader from Los Angelus could be someone who fought demons. Dawn had told her that they were fighting a demon and she came into contact with it's blood and now she was the girl she was before she became a slayer. Which made Buffy think that Dawn was insane.

Sighing, she knew what she had to do. Pulling on her converse sneakers, she checked herself in the mirror. She was wearing a blank tank top that stopped just short above her belly button and black jeans with a studded belt and matching black and white converse shoes. Grabbing the key off the table, she headed out the door and went to visit Angel. Once she reached the office, she walked in and saw Angel, Dawn, Spike and who she guessed was Giles. He smiled and stood up.

"Hello, Buffy. I don't believe you remember me, but I'm Rupert Giles. I'm your watcher." He said and held out a hand.

Buffy shook his hand, then hugged herself. "I'm sorry you had to come all this way."

"Sorry? For what?"

"I'm not going to be the slayer. This whole thing, is stupid. I'm not a slayer. I'm a cheerleader from L.A whose mom moved to Sunnydale and whose sister is insane. I'm not doing it." She said.

"Buffy, you are the Chosen One. Whether you remember or not, but you need to do this. Its your destiny." Giles said.

"Well I'm changing my 'destiny'. I'm NOT being the slayer. Now back off." Buffy said and started towards the door.

"Buffy, you don't understand…" Giles started, but was interrupted by Buffy, as she spun around, fire in her eyes.

"No! God, what don't you guys get! You can't make me be the slayer. And I'm not going to do it! I'm going back to Sunnydale and I'm going to forget that any of this ever happened!" Buffy yelled.

"Why are you fighting this!" Giles yelled.

"If I accept it, then my nightmares are real!" Buffy yelled. "And I can't fucking handle that!"

Spike, Angel and Dawn watched as Giles and Buffy fought. They didn't know what to do at Buffy's last statement. She had tears in her eyes now, and they could clearly see pain written across her face. She waited for someone to say something but when no one did, she took a deep breath and walked out of the office. She was almost to the exit when Spike came running up to her.

"Buffy, Buffy wait!" Spike caught up to her and gently grabbed her arm to stop her. "Please, luv, just stop."

"Why? So they can tell me that I have no choice in what happens to me?" Buffy said pointing at Angel's office.

"No, luv, please, just listen." Spike said and when Buffy didn't say anything, he continued. "Look, I get that your scared, pet. I get that you don't want this to be real, but it is. You can't lie to yourself. This is real. There's no way around it." He said softly.

"It can't be." Buffy said, new tears forming in her eyes.

"But it is, Buffy. It's real. And you should be afraid. You're goin' to see a lot of things that you don't want to. You're goin' to be in pain. People who said they would protect you, will hurt you. They'll say they'll never leave, but they will. But it will pass, luv. It'll pass and all that fear will be gone and all that will be left it you. And to be honest, that's all you need. You're strong and brave and determined. And you've got a heart and thirst to save and protect people like I've never seen. You're the best slayer that's ever been. You just need to face the fact that this isn't goin' away."

Buffy didn't say anything. She simply watched Spike with an unreadable look he's seen many times before. The tears were gone from her eyes and she took a deep breath. Walking past him and back into Angel's office, Spike followed her and closed the door behind them.

"Okay." she said, her arms folded.

"Excuse me?" said Giles, taking off his classes.

"I'll do it, but I have a few conditions first." Buffy said, determination in her voice.

"You can't have conditions, you have to do it." Said Angel.

"I have a choice. You give me my conditions and I do it, or you don't and I walk away and even though this may not go away, do my best to forget it." Buffy said.

Spike looked between Giles, Angel, Dawn and Buffy, who hadn't taken her eyes off of Giles. "Well what are your conditions, luv?"

"If I want to stop, you let me stop and don't pressure me." She said, still not taking her eyes off Giles, who was starting to smile. "Second, you tell me why you're smiling like that, cuz it's creeping me out."

Giles chuckled and put his glasses back on. "You just…remind me of a slayer I had before you." he sad, referring to the her she didn't remember.

"Whatever. Third, if I'm going to be fighting vampires and fighting for my life every second, then I'm not going to be trained by some bookworm."

"I've trained quiet a few slayers, Buffy."

"That may be true, but if you haven't noticed, they're all dead. And I for one, would like to live."

Giles shifted uncomfortably. "I trained you before, I can train you again."

"You may have trained me before, but I died three times while you were my watcher." Buffy said remembering what Dawn had told her.

"You chose to, Buffy. You did it to save the world." Angel interrupted.

"I don't care. I still died. And again, if I'm gonna be fighting vampires, you're not going to train me."

"Then who is? Dawn?" Giles looked over at Dawn, who threw her hands up.

"No way. I don't want my finger prints on that train wreck." she said.

"A vampire." Buffy said firmly.

"What? No way. You may not want to be trained by me, but I am still your watcher and you are not being trained by a vampire." Giles said.

"I'm gonna be fighting them every night. Why not train with one so I know what I'm up against?"

Giles sighed, took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'll train her, Giles." Angel said.

"Not you, you tool." Buffy said looking at Angel, who was taken back a bit.

"Then who?"

Buffy looked over her shoulder at the bleached blonde who was sitting on the arm of a large chair. "Spike."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**A/N: Sorry I havent updated in such a long time. Been really really busy.**

"No. No way. Spike is not going to train you." Said Angel.

"Excuse you Mr. Hair Gel," Buffy started and Spike bit back a laugh, "but you have no say in the matter, so stay out of this." Buffy turned to look at Spike. "What do you say? Will you train me?"

Spike looked around at everyone else in the room and smirked. "Sure, pet," he said standing up and walking over to her. He placed an arm around her shoulders and looked at everyone else. "I'd love to train you, Buffy."

"Why do you want to train with Spike and not me?" Asked Angel.

"Because so far, he's the ONLY one whose told me the truth. The only one who said I had a choice. Why wouldn't I want to train with him?" Buffy snapped.

No one said anything.

"Exactly. So back off." she said and walked out of Angel's office.

Spike went to follow her, but Angel grabbed his arm. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm trainin' her."

"No you're not. I know what you're up to, Spike. And I swear to god I'll kill you if you try to take advantage of her." Angel growled.

Spike smirked. "I don't need to try, mate. She already wants me. Always has and I guess she always will." Spike was met with a fist to the jaw. "Yeah, that's bloody mature." he said rubbing blood from the corner of his mouth.

Angel turned and was also met with a fist to the face. "What the hell was that for?" he said, shocked.

"Don't hit Spike!" Dawn said.

"Ha." Came Spikes voice before he vanished out the door to find Buffy.

Not finding her anywhere on the main floor, he took the elevator up to the 7th floor. Knocking on the apartment door, he waited for her to answer. He knew she was in there. He could smell her. He knocked again. Still no answer. Getting a bit worried, he walked in, closing the door behind him.

"Luv?" He said when he saw her standing with her back to him.

"Hmm?" She kept her back to him as she stared out the window, her arms wrapped around herself.

"You alright, pet?" he asked, walking up behind her. Buffy sniffled and Spike placed a hand on her back as he moved to stand beside her. "Tell me what's wrong, luv."

Before he knew what happened, Buffy was pressing herself against him, her head on his chest and clinging to his shirt, which was, at the moment, being soaked with tears. Feeling her shake brought him out of his shock and he wrapped his arms around her. Running his hands up and down her back, he held her tight against his body. He heard a mumbling but couldn't understand any part of it. He cocked his head to one side to get a better look at her. He brushed some hair from her face.

"What was that, luv?"

Buffy sniffled again and looked up at him through tear drenched eye lashes. "I don't want to die, Spike." She whispered.

"You're not goin' to die, luv. I'm goin' to train you."

Buffy didn't say anything. Closing her eyes, she held onto the front of his shirt, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "Promise?" she mumbled.

"Yes, pet, I promise. You'll always be safe with me, Buffy." He whispered.

Buffy smiled sadly. "A vampire promising to protect a slayer. We must have one hell of a past."

"That we do, pet. That we do."

Spike held Buffy as she cried for what seemed like hours. When she stopped sniffling, he looked down. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was steady and slow as if she had fallen asleep. He ran the back of his hand across her cheek and smiled when she moved into him more. Doing his best not to wake her, he carried her down the hall to her room. She was tiny. She had always been small, but he never remembered her being this small. They're bodies still fight perfectly together and he found his mind wandering to all the times he would wake up with her in his arms. Smiling at the memories her often thought of, he placed her down on the bed. Taking his duster off, he placed it over her small form and crouched down beside her, running a hand through her hair, down her neck and down her body until he reached her hip.

"G'night, luv." he said and placed a kiss on her temple.

"G'night, Spike." Spike heard Buffy mumble before he closed the door.

* * *

The next day, Buffy was to meet Spike in the Wolfram & Heart training arena. Getting dressed in a pair of black yoga pants with a green fold over waist, a matching green sports bra and matching black shoes. After tying her hair up in braided pigtails, she made her way to the training arena. Blowing a large bubble and popping it loudly, Buffy looked around the room. A long table with a variety of weapons on it, stood straight across from the door. A training bag hung from the ceiling in the corner and giant blue mats lined the walls. On the other side of the room waited different gymnastics equipment, surrounded with more blue mats. Looking up, she saw multiple sandbags, all of which were bigger than her and looked as if they were set up to swing down into the arena. Feeling nervous, she swung her arms, clapping her hands each time they moved in front of her, and walked around the room. Chewing on her gum loudly, she blew another large bubble and let it pop…loudly.

Angel, Giles, Dawn and Spike watched Buffy walk around the room from the viewing area above. They all had their arms crossed. Giles took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose when Buffy wandered over to the weapons table, picking up a large sword and almost falling over due to it almost being heavier than her.

"This is going to take a while." Dawn said.

"I wonder if she was this inexperienced when her first Watcher taught her." Said Angel.

The four of them continued to watch Buffy as she struggled to get the sword back on the table. When she finally did, she moved down the row of weapons, looking at each one. Lifting an eyebrow, she looked around to make sure no one was looking and picked up a crossbow, she quickly figured out how to load it and looked around once more to make sure no one was there.

"What the hell is she doing?" Said Dawn as they watched Buffy hold the crossbow up and look through the aim. Then she moved it around, taking a better look at it.

All of them jumped when Buffy accidentally pulled the trigger, sending the arrow straight into one of the large sandbags hanging from the ceiling, causing it to spill sand down into the arena. Buffy watched with wide eyes, mouth slightly open in shock, still holding the crossbow. She quickly put the crossbow back on the table.

"I should probably get down there." Spike sighed and walked out of the room.

A few minutes later, he walked into arena. "What happened to the sandbag, luv?" he asked, trying not to smirk.

"Uh…it was like that?" Buffy suggested.

Spike chuckled. "Let's get started."

"What do we do first? Maybe some weapon training?" Buffy said excitedly picking up the crossbow again and spinning around.

"No!" Spike said moving out of Buffy's aim, remembering the sandbag. "No weapons yet." He said, taking the crossbow from her and placing it back on the table.

"Okay…oh! What about the balance beam?" She asked, bouncing on her toes.

"No. You were a cheerleader, you already know balance."

"Well what about the rings? Or the spring board? Or the uneven bar thingys?" She asked looking over the gymnastic equipment.

"No, you're not strong or fast enough for those yet." Spike said from behind her.

Buffy started to turn back to Spike. "Then what are we….OW! What the fuck, dude!" Buffy yelled as Spike punched her. She held her hand on her jaw. "You hit me!"

"I know."

"Why!"

"You need to learn how to dodge first." Spike said.

"But you hit me!" Wined Buffy.

"You didn't dodge."

"So you hit me!" Buffy squealed.

Up above, Angel and Giles watched in horror as they saw what their greatest slayer had become and Dawn laughed uncontrollably. Wiping her eyes, she tried to calm herself down.

"Oh, my god. That was good. '_You hit me!'_" Dawn mimicked and walked out of the room, laughing again.

Angel and Giles watched her leave, then looked back down in the arena.

"You need to learn to dodge, Buffy!"

"Just because I can't dodge doesn't mean you can hit me!"

Spike wanted to choke her. "That's exactly what it bloody means!"

"Oh whatever!" Buffy said and began to pout.

"Don't you whatever me!"

"What…ever!" She turned around, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Luv…" Spike said, trying to regain his temper. He reached out to touch her shoulder, but she pulled away. Spike sighed. "Fine, be a brat."

Buffy turned around and stared at him, her bottom lip jutted out in a serious pout. She huffed and cracked her knuckles. Spike heard it and raised an eyebrow, getting nervous. He licked his lips.

"Now, now, luv. I didn't mean it…" He said cautiously.

Buffy raised her fist and hit him in the jaw, sending him back a few feet into the pile of sand. "I can't believe you hit me!" Buffy yelled. "And then called ME a brat! I am not a brat!"

Spike watched Buffy storm out of the room, slamming the door behind her, causing left over sand from the sandbag to fall from the bag and onto Spike. _What did I get myself into? _Spike asked himself as sand rained down on him.


	5. Chapter 5

** Chapter Five**

Buffy slouched on the couch, remote control in one hand, an ice pack in the other. She flipped through the channels, trying to find something to get her mind off the pain in her jaw. Landing on a local news channel she watched as the reporter told of a young boy killed. He was one of many of the deaths that occurred from loss of blood with nothing but two holes in his neck. Vampire. Buffy thought. Changing the channel, she stopped on a music video. The band was in a cemetery singing as three teens watched Vampires pulling themselves out of the ground. Annoyed, she shut the television off. _What's with people and vampires? _She asked herself. Dropping the remote on the coffee table she made her way to the kitchen for a new icepack.

"You're seriously gonna stop after one punch?"

Buffy turned around and saw Dawn standing there with her arms crossed. "I don't want to talk about this." Buffy said.

"He was right to do it, Buffy. Defense is the first thing you need to learn." Dawn went on.

"You seem to know all about this slayer shit. Why don't _**you**_ be the slayer?" Buffy spat back.

"Because I'm not the chosen one. You are. Now except it, because you're not doing yourself any favors by trying to run away from it."

"I'm not running away from it. I'm walking." Buffy said, walking past Dawn.

"Buffy, I'm serious."

"So am I. I'm done being the slayer."

"You can never just stop being the slayer."

"I've known that for years." Buffy said looking out the window. "Believe me, I've tried getting away."

"What did you say?"

"What?" Buffy looked at Dawn.

"You said you've known for years."

"What are you talking about?"

"I have to go. We'll talk about this later." Dawn said and ran out of the apartment. Making her way to Angel's office, she pushed the door open and walked in. "She remembered."

Spike, Angel and Giles looked up. "What?"

"Buffy. We were fighting. I said something about how she's never going to stop being the slayer and she remembered."

"So she's back to normal?"

"No. She had no idea what we were talking about."

"Care to explain?" Angel said.

Dawn sighed. "We were fighting. I said that she's never not gonna be a slayer and she said that she's known that for years. That she's tried not being it. I never told her any of that."

"How could she know that for years if she just found out." Asked Angel.

"Her subconscious." Giles said. "It was her subconscious telling you that Dawn. Did she say anything else?"

"Just that she didn't want to be the slayer anymore."

"What if she knew?" Spike said, staring at the ground.

"Knew what?" said Dawn.

"About the blood. What if she knew what the blood would do to her?" Spike said looking at them.

"You think she touched the blood on purpose?" Giles said.

"I wouldn't put it past her." Dawn whispered.

"What do you mean, you wouldn't put it past her?" asked Angel, annoyed. Dawn looked up at Angel, Spike and Giles and sighed. "Time to tell us the truth Dawn. Did Buffy touch the blood on purpose?"

"She…she may have. I don't know."

"Why didn't you bloody tell us this before!" Spike shouted, causing everyone else to jump at his outburst.

"I didn't really think about it until now!" Dawn said. "Ever since the final battle she's been a shell of what she used to be. She would go out at dusk and wouldn't come back until dawn. I started getting worried about her so I followed her one night. She was fighting a vampire…"

"That's nothing strange." Angel said.

"She was beating him, Angel. I get that she's the slayer but it wasn't normal. She had him begging to be killed and she wouldn't do it. She just continued to beat him until he stopped moving and even then some. He never even tried fighting back. And the look on her face…"

"What about it?" Said Spike, getting nervous.

"It was so…I don't know. Just so…soulless. And she always said she was sore but she couldn't sit still and was always putting her head in her hands or closing her eyes. And every now and then she would have these random out bursts of anger."

"You should have brought her here when you saw that, Dawn." Angel said.

"I tried, but she refused and I didn't want to get her angry."

"You could have called. We would have gone there." Spike said.

"Look we're not going to know if she did it on purpose unless we can get her subconscious to talk again." Said Giles.

"How are we going to do that?" said Angel. Spike got out of his chair and started walking out of the office. "Where are you going?"

"To talk to Buffy."

* * *

Spike knocked on the apartment door. When he didn't get an answer he walked in. "Buffy?"

Not seeing her, he walked into the kitchen. Not finding her in there, he walked back into the living room. As he was heading down the hall, he caught a glimpse of her laying on the couch. He walked over to her, crouching down beside her. Running a hand through her hair, he cocked his head to one side and smiled when she moved into his touch. Her eyes fluttered open and a soft smile found its way on her face.

"Hey." She whispered.

Spike smiled. "Hey."

Buffy frowned. "I'm sorry about before. Just not used to being hit."

"You'll get used to it, luv."

"I don't want to get used to it."

"I know." Spike studied her for a moment before standing up. "You want to order some Chinese or something'?"

Buffy smiled. "I love Chinese."

"I'll go order some."

Once Spike was on the phone, Buffy sat up and looked over the back of the couch. She propped herself up on an elbow, holding her head in her hand and watched him. She smiled when she heard him trying to talk to the Chinese lady on the phone. She got a weird feeling as if this happened before and she found her smile getting bigger. When Spike hung up the phone, he turned and smiled when he saw Buffy watching him.

"Not polite to stare."

Buffy smiled. "Lets watch a movie." She said excitedly.

Spike smiled and walked over to her. Flopping down on the sofa next to her, he furrowed his brow when stood up. "Where are you goin', pet?"

"I wanna get something." She said and disappeared down the hall.

A few moments later, she returned, Spike's duster in hand. Spike chuckled as she fell onto the couch beside him, resting her head on his lap and covering herself in the duster. Smiling, Spike wrapped an arm around her shoulder so that his hand was on her waist. Buffy closed her eyes and snuggled further into the couch and closer to him. Spike flipped through the channels until they found a movie worth watching. Once the Chinese arrived, Buffy was curled up on his lap, with her head on his shoulder.

"Gotta get the door, luv." He said, smiling when she snuggled closer.

"Why?" she pouted. "I'm comfy."

"I realize that, pet. But don't you want your Chinese?"

Buffy jumped up and ran to the door. She pulled it open, smiling like an idiot. Taking the box and bags, she moved to the kitchen and left Spike to pay. Chuckling, he pulled out his wallet and paid for their food. Following Buffy to the kitchen, he smiled when she was bent over in front of the fridge looking for something to drink. Taking the box of food before she turned around, he went back to the couch and placed it on the coffee table.

"You stole my Chinese!" She said, jumping over the back of the couch and landing with an 'oof'.

"Prove it." He said through a mouth fool of rice.

Buffy elbowed him. "Don't talk with your mouth full."

When the movie was over, Spike got up to put away the left over Chinese. She watched him over the back of the couch again. When he was done he rubbed his hands on his legs. He looked at her, smiling.

"You alright, luv? Looks like you got something on your mind."

Buffy didn't say anything. When Spike raised an eyebrow, she got off the couch and walked over to him. Placing a hand on the back of his neck, she pulled him down, slamming her lips against his. Closing his eyes, he gripped her hips, pulling her against him. After what seemed like forever, they finally broke apart, breathing hard. Spike rested his forehead against hers and ran his hands up and down her arms. He licked his lips, opening his eyes and watched her trying to catch her breath, her eyes still closed.

"I guess you do have somethin' on your mind." Spike chuckled.

Buffy smiled and took his hand, pulling him down the hallway to her bedroom. Once there, Spike pushed her against the door, pressing himself against her. Taking her hands in his, he held them above her head and kissed her neck. Moaning, she tilted her head, giving him more access to the soft flesh. He kissed his way down her throat to her collarbone. Holding in a whimper when he bit lightly, she ground against him, desperate for his touch. Spike immediately understood and let go of her hands. Picking her up, he moved them to the bed, laying her down and kneeling between her legs. Leaning down, he slammed his lips against hers. Pulling at her shirt, he kissed down her neck and collarbone once more. Finally getting her shirt off, he kissed and bit the newly exposed skin.

Not wanting to wait anymore, Buffy began to pull at his clothes, neither one of them noticing the gold glow that began to form around them.


End file.
